emmahum

I thought I'd put you on watch, because you seem pretty neat: you know the oil cans, you like allen ginsberg and zegota. you're a-ok in my book.

:]

I RODE MY BIKE TODAY AND I FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN!

i can't sleep, i can't sleep. i can't sleep so i'm just going to write and write until i get tired. god this stinks. today was wonderful. robin came over and we listened to bob marley and one reason and we layed on my grass soaking in sun and being in the sun makes your body release endorphins and i felt good. today i also made a really yummy 3 bean salad, and lentil soup. all for plan it x fest. it's going to be fantastic. i also made tom his mix tape and i've been listening to it cause i like it and i hope he likes it. tomorrow is a youth against oppression gathering out in nassau at eisenhower park. i'm looking forward to meeting new people. tomorrow there are 2 parties. on saturday this bike is a pipe bomb will not be playing and this makes me so so so sad. i love those people. i love tofutti cuties, too. so good. okay im beginning to get tired i think. i need sleep my god. i need to wake up at a decent hour tomorrow and feel good cause tomorrow will be ridiculous and busy and good. i miss my friends already, how am i going to survive the summer? i get used to seeing them every day and take it for granted, as much as i loathe school. i have so many books to read and its starting to overwhelm me because i'm pretty sure it will be impossible to finish them all this summer but i really want to. the plane rides to and from greece will probably allow me to get some books done. whew. speaking of greece, i went to the athens indymedia site and tried to figure out awesome things to do while in greece. i need to brush up on my greek vocabulary. majorly. ahhh so much to do and i only have one month to do it. one month in the united states, one month in london and greece. im so excited and scared and overwhelmed and everything and it's good but it's leading to this, to me not sleeping. so much going on this summer i dont know what to do. but. i like people a lot here. i'm starting to get to know people better, make new friends and its exciting. someone told me something nice today and now i'm feeling con-tem-pla-tive. someone else said yesterday at freespace that hearing my opinion is a rare occurence... and thats strange to me. certain environments i speak very freely in, but others i get shy and i restrain from sharing a lot. that's no good. i want to always share and be open. why are people shy? why am i shy ONLY sometimes? what makes this happen? why are people so judgemental, huh? what's with this. geeze. but i still like people, it's true. yikes my thoughts are crazy and all over the place. i love everyone seriously up the love/hugs/kisses/spooning/fondling. actually dont fondle fondlings no good. i like spoonboy. and the philadelphia song cause it reminds me of alline telling me her story about the oil cans and the pretty painting she did and that gives me a warm feeling. i remember that day. it was mayday and i went to the city and she was there and i had a falafel with a stranger and i choked and i met a greek lady and we complained about patriarchy in greek culture and then i took a train to freespace and saw erik petersen and all my friends and then i got ice cream and went home and collapsed. i hope when i'm old i have these memories, i get worried sometimes that it will all just slip away and i'll never remember. occassionally i'll remember something that happened a really long time ago, maybe something really small, or really great, and aside from the obvious nostalgic reaction i also get a sad reaction. how could those things get pushed back? holy cow. here's a poem that i will write now:

the point between not tired and tired
is a rough one indeed
sometimes this is caused
by too much caffeine

sometimes this is caused
by overanalyzing one's life
and the result of these actions
seems to always lead to strife

regardless, however -
one should proceed
for it is difficult to change one's self
up the seeds!



that is absolutely horrific.

actually, i may be the next allen ginsberg. except i'm heterosexual and female. and i can't whip out brilliant poems, either.

that poem officially drained me. i'm off to sleep!

so tonight leaves me really confused.

people can be assholes. people can be absolutely wonderful. i'd say tonight is leaning towards the wonderful side. yea! for optimism.

i dislike eric so much. i can't stand people with attitudes, or with condescending, pompous, creepy personas. he makes me so uncomfortable.

i dislike negativity. i dislike arrogance, and inconsiderate attitudes. i dislike sexism. it's so hard sometimes.

but

i love my friends. i love their support. i love czarine and hannah.

i love raw emotion.

i love spoken word.

i love new experiences.

i really appreciate docstrange and edgey. their set made all the other stuff worth bearing through. it makes me happy. their friends were incredible.

so the good outweighs the bad.

and! this week was incredible, the most fun i've had since...last summer!

it started off monday, i went riding bikes with tym. it was good. tuesday was a freespace show, which was nice. i saw people i haven't in awhile. there were good vibes. included was desirae, i miss her. such a good person. wednesday after eng finals i rode around with jen, got japanese food, dyed my hair, then went to borders with czarine + hannah. saw kathleen. got some bob marley. that makes me very happy. so good to dance and veg out to. i have so many books to read i don't know what to do with myself. yesterday i went on a nice walk with robin. then i hung out with cat scott, matt, all them folks. we ended up in a parking lot late at night. typical, huh?

goodnight
xo maria

Hey Maria you are awesome!!! I'm glad you got a DA sn!

hi, i like this.

i chose the name emmahum for this because i like the word "hum" and emma goldman is amazing.

the acoustic cafe was cancelled. but, i went to freespace. and it was pretty great. everyone was there. there was a show. and a womyns collective meeting. some new ladies came. it was nice. i saw jeremy who i haven't seen in awhile. i saw tym, and dirty dave (formerly known as fatdave) and others. it just felt good being there.

i've been feeling wonderful. i rode my bike around nesconset today with meaghan. it was good. i don't like humidity, but i love warm weather.

today is wendesday. tomorrow is a gathering discussing the organization of plan it x fest in which LOS GATOS NEGROS will be playing, hooray for that sheesh! and tomorrow there will also be LOTS of cooking and baking for the party friday, which will be swell. food + music + dancing + good friends. oh i love it.

i've been crazy nostalgic lately. i'm almost out of here. i'm not going to be here for august. i just miss things. i miss my faraway friends and friends i never see anymore. i hope everyone knows i love them, no joke.

LOVE LOVE LOVE,
maria